Phosphates leaching into the River Wye could be stopped by proven phosphate-stripping technology attached to anaerobic digesters, but Herefordshire Council's bypass-hating Green and independent group will not support or engage, despite a moratorium on house building. What can the Deputy Prime Minister do to save our river and remove from the council such a vital strategic and environmental responsibility?

This week, the Government announced their so-called antisocial behaviour policy. It has only taken 13 years. Look, I will give him some credit: the Deputy Prime Minister knows first-hand the misery caused by thugs and their intimidating behaviour, lurking with menace, exploding in fits of rage, creating a culture of fear, and maybe even—I do not know—throwing things. So I ask him: under his new antisocial behaviour policy, does he think more bullies will be brought to justice?

I would like to see the ministerial code introduced and adhered to on the Government Benches, because it is not just the right hon. Gentleman's Department where antisocial behaviour is running out of control. It is happening across the country: police officers disappearing from our streets, replaced by criminals plaguing our towns and leaving people feeling unsafe. The truth is that the Conservatives are missing in action in the fight against crime. Can he tell his constituents and the public why, after 13 years of his party in government, there are now 6,000 fewer neighbourhood police officers on Britain's streets?

No one believes that there are more police on the streets and no one feels safer. Neighbourhood policing has gone down, not up. Let us talk about crime. The right hon. Gentleman knows as well as I do that neighbourhood police can help to prevent antisocial behaviour and knife crime, but trusted local police are also crucial to protecting women. Women feel unsafe on Britain's streets, always looking over our shoulder as we hurry to our front door. Can he tell me, under his watch as Justice Secretary, what is the charge rate for rape?

The right hon. Gentleman says that rape conviction has gone up. What he really means is that 300 women will be raped today while he boasts about an increase of 0.5%. He has not answered my question, because he is too ashamed of the answer: 1.6% of rapists face being charged for their crime—1.6%. Let that sink in. A woman goes through the worst experience of her life. She summons up the courage to relive that horrendous experience to tell the police in detail about her assault, but she only has a 1.6% chance of action being taken. Over 98% of rapists will never see the inside of a courtroom, let alone a prison. And the rest of those brave women? They keep looking over their shoulders and hope the perpetrator does not choose tonight to take their revenge for reporting the incident to the police.

On his watch, rape survivors are waiting on average more than three years for their cases to come to court. The right hon. Member talked about a 10-week reduction. From three years, 10 weeks is not anything to boast about—three years from the day of the assault to the final day of court. Is it any wonder that from April to September last year, 175 trials for rape and other serious sexual offences had to be dropped because the victim could no longer cope with the delay? When will he apologise to all those women denied justice because of his failure to sort the court backlog?

Not a word of apology, no sense of responsibility and not even a shred of shame. The reality is that while people in Britain feel more and more unsafe, the right hon. Member seems to spend all his time trying to save his own job and none of his time on his actual job. It is not just me who thinks so—the Prime Minister clearly does not trust him to deal with antisocial behaviour, because he has given that job to the Levelling-up Secretary. The way that things are going, and if reports are to be believed, this might be his last Prime Minister's questions, so let us look at the highlights: criminal justice on its knees; the largest court backlog on record; rape victims waiting for justice; and through it all, he managed to rack up 24 formal complaints from his own civil servants. Can he say today: will he walk before he is pushed?

It is wonderful to see you in your place, Madam Deputy Speaker. As my right hon. Friend will be aware, the Thames freeport was recently given the final go-ahead to become fully operational, creating thousands of jobs and attracting millions in inward investment. Will he join me in congratulating the team behind the bid, and encourage businesses and investors from across the south-east—indeed, across the world—to take a closer look at the fantastic opportunities in Thurrock? Will he work with local education providers to ensure that my constituents have the skills needed to take up these fantastic opportunities?

I also wish to send my warm regards to the family of Paul O'Grady, the legendary drag queen, for all he has done for my community. I congratulate Humza Yousaf as he becomes First Minister of Scotland. He is the first Scots-Asian and Muslim to hold such an office, and I am sure the whole House will send him warm regards. In recent days, video footage has emerged of the former Chancellor and the former chair of the 1922 committee offering their services for £60,000, on top of their salaries as MPs. The former Health Secretary offered his wisdom for £10,000 a day. When the Deputy Prime Minister is inevitably booted out of office, what will his going rate be?

During a cost of living crisis, as the Deputy Prime Minister's colleagues eye up barrels of cash from fake companies, it is the people across these isles who have been led by donkeys—and they are sitting on those Government Benches. The former Health Secretary also said that he would impart his wisdom for £1,500 an hour. Most nurses earn little above £15 an hour. Who does the Deputy Prime Minister think is best value for money and for the public?

It is very good to see you back in this place, Madam Deputy Speaker. It has been announced that Stoke-on-Trent will be one of the levelling-up partnerships, on top of the investment we have already received through programmes such as the levelling-up fund. That has been delivered thanks to Conservatives working together in Government and on the city council, led by the formidable Councillor Abi Brown. Does my right hon. Friend agree that if people want to continue to see the levelling up of opportunities in Stoke-on-Trent, they should vote Conservative in the local elections in May?

Yesterday, the Secretary of State for Northern Ireland told us that the Security Service, MI5, had increased the terrorism threat level in Northern Ireland to “severe”. Responsibility for dealing with terrorism and national security rests with the Government of the United Kingdom, including in Northern Ireland. Will the Deputy Prime Minister assure me and the people of Northern Ireland that the Government will provide the Police Service of Northern Ireland and the Security Service with the resources they need to counter this serious terrorist threat?

My recent local survey as to whether Leigh should break away from Wigan Council shows, I am very pleased to say, that so far 90% are in favour, with only 3% opposed— Please: before calling for a second referendum, let me finish the question. Does my right hon. Friend agree that this, the 50th year of our campaign for our town's independence, is the year to get Lexit done?

Despite Royal Mail posting record profits, management are threatening to put it into administration. What conversations are the Government having with Royal Mail? What are they doing to protect the universal postal service?

On behalf of the people of Dewsbury, I would like to pay tribute to Dewsbury's greatest daughter, Betty Boothroyd. She will be sorely missed. This week, I visited Ravenshall School in Dewsbury and Hollybank School in Mirfield, which both do amazing work teaching children with special educational needs and disabilities. However, there is a disparity in SEND standards in mainstream schools in my constituency. Will my right hon. Friend join me in thanking the teachers and staff at Ravenshall and Hollybank for everything they do? Will he outline how we can ensure that all our children are given the best chance in life, regardless of which school they go to?

Although the Prime Minister is absent, I hope he later gets the chance to watch the BBC's dramatisation of the Brink's-Mat robbery in the 1980s, when the police team assigned to recover the stolen gold got back only half. That sum pales into insignificance compared with the measly 1% recovered from the £1 billion in business grants lost to fraud under the Prime Minister's watch as Chancellor. The fingerprints show that this massive fraud now lies at No. 10 Downing Street. To quote the Government's former fraud Minister, Lord Agnew of Oulton, when will this Government “get their acts together” and step up the recovery efforts on behalf of the taxpayer?

As the Deputy Prime Minister will know, stroke is the greatest cause of adult disability in the country and costs our economy some £26 billion a year, let alone destroying lives. Last year I met Dr John Stephens, who was unable even to sit up unaided after a stroke but who, following an emergency thrombectomy, is now back at work as an NHS GP. Sadly, however, only 30% of eligible patients actually have this surgery. Does the Deputy Prime Minister agree that we need greatly to increase the roll-out of thrombectomies?

In a shocking article last year, it was reported that staff at a GP practice in Walton were left in tears and “crumbling under pressure” owing to the increased workload caused by staff shortages. Is that any wonder, when there are 850 fewer GPs in the country than there were in 2019? What does the Deputy Prime Minister say to patients left in pain and staff left in tears—including some in his own constituency—as a result of the Government's failed promise to recruit more GPs?

Since 2019, this Government have provided well over £300 million in extra funding for projects in Blackpool. However, there is always room for more. The Bond Street and Revoe areas in my constituency are among the most deprived in the country, and have been long forgotten by the Labour-led council. The Government have already provided £600,000 in funding for a feasibility project, with a view to delivering a £30 million regeneration package for those areas. Will they look closely at the business case to see how this transformational project can be delivered to the local communities?

A little girl in my constituency, only nine years old, developed a bacterial infection just before Christmas. Thereafter, very distressing symptoms occurred, such as obsessive compulsive disorder and intrusive thoughts. She has not washed, dressed or properly eaten since Christmas. We believe this to be PANS and PANDA—paediatric acute-onset neuropsychiatric syndrome and paediatric acute-onset neuropsychiatric disorders associated with streptococcus. Although health is devolved and I am seeking support for her, part of the reason for the lottery and the antipsychotic medication that is often given for this condition—despite the fact that broad-based antibiotics have been proven to work—is that no part of the UK has implemented the World Health Organisation's ICD 11. Will the Government commit to looking at this, so that other children across the UK do not need to suffer in such a way?

Georgia Harrison is an incredibly brave young woman who only got justice when she was a victim of revenge porn because she could prove that the perpetrator intended to cause her distress. Most victims cannot prove that, and perpetrators are using platforms to use revenge porn for financial gain. That is not covered in the legislation. Will my right hon. Friend commit to looking at the case studies Georgia has compiled and to reviewing the legislation to strengthen it and make it more effective?

I do not know whether the Deputy Prime Minister ever met Lily Savage or whether he has ever spent a night out at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. I can take him sometime if he wants to go—[Interruption.] I think that was a yes, actually. Paul O'Grady campaigned acerbically and hilariously for elderly people and care workers and against oppression of every kind.

I would like to associate myself with the words of the hon. Member for Rhondda (Sir Chris Bryant). Paul O'Grady was a great champion of animal welfare as well. The suffering that any child must go through when they get a condition such as cancer at such an early age is difficult to believe, and the pressure on the families is incredible.

My six-year-old constituent Daniel has cerebral palsy and mitochondrial disease. He has received palliative care from the Bluebell Wood Children's Hospice, which was forced to close temporarily last year due to staffing pressures. It also has ongoing concerns about rising bills. Will the Deputy Prime Minister reassure Daniel's family that he will receive the palliative care he requires, as and when he needs it?

The inclusion of the west midlands as a hotspot trailblazer police force area in the antisocial behaviour action plan is really good news. Will my right hon. Friend outline how communities on the periphery of the west midlands, such as those in my constituency, will see and feel the positive difference this will bring?

After announcing her retirement, North Tyneside-born Sarah Hunter MBE played her final game of rugby at the opening women's Six Nations match at Kingston Park last Saturday. Sarah is the most capped international rugby player in the world, a true professional, a great ambassador for her sport and an inspiration to many.

Will the Government require that East West Rail publishes a full business case before the allocation of any more taxpayers' money to the project?

When the Prime Minister is not taking luxury helicopter rides and splashing about in his private pool, will the Deputy Prime Minister recommend that he befriends somebody from the working class?

This week, Rutlander Andrew Osborne solo-sailed 3,000 miles across the Atlantic ocean, taking 78 days and raising £142,000 for Cardiac Risk in the Young, after his daughter Amy died in her sleep aged 25, being discovered by her sister the next morning. Twelve young people a week die of an undiagnosed heart condition. What are we doing to increase the diagnosis of heart conditions in children and young people?